Weird session - interesting results

So, Ps session was not what I expected at all. I thought he’d confirm what I had wrong, (I’d written a list) and he’d give me some exercises to do.

First thing I did was stand in front of him and he looked. For ages. He said I was twisted - and he took a photo so that I could see for myself. Left hip higher than right, one shoulder forward, left foot to the side. Then he asked me to run on the spot with my eyes shut and when I opened them to stand and keep still - not to adjust anything. Result: I stood upright and was not twisted! Turns out that I change my standing position - in a bad way.

Laying on the bed, he worked his way around most of my body - lifting, pushing (whilst I resist), prodding, feeling. He’d talk to me but not look at me (he didn’t want me giving away any tell tale signs). On several occasions I couldn’t resist a particular movement - with leg and also arm. I presumed this was due to lack of strength. No, not the case, said P. By pressing or rubbing in certain places (presumably acupuncture points), I could then resist. It was so weird. He even told me to press a point on the back of my head myself and I could then resist him moving my left leg. He actually said I was intuitive ‘deep down’ because I’d previously put my hand behind my head. I’m not sure about intuition; I’d just put my hand behind my head to hold my head up so I could see what he was doing!

P believes the body holds onto emotions. I had not told him anything about me or my life. On my left side he said something about the behaviour of a male that was detrimental to me. On the right side - either at the top part of my leg or near my ribs (can’t remember) he said I was holding on to a lot of grief. He also said that I never put myself first and how I say I’m fine/ok when I’m not. He also knew that I have a very low opinion of my appearance.

Right on all counts. I cried, but didn’t tell him why.

He also said I wasn’t as bad as he thought I’d be, and that I’ll have a long life.

He then started treating me. He warned me it would hurt. A lot. He promised to count down and stop immediately at zero. I could ask him to stop at any time, but he’d have to do it again.

He pressed for 20 seconds either side of my pubic bone.
He pressed/dragged the top of my leg.
He pressed/dragged my lower left side above my waist - that was unbelievably painful.
He pressed in one spot very very hard and asked me to think what was the saddest thing that’s ever happened to me - I didn’t speak it out. Then he started hitting the same spot. Constantly hitting, and asked what’s the happiest thing that ever happened to me. With each question he’d told me to accept whatever came to me - he didn’t want me thinking of an answer. The hitting continued and all of a sudden a loud noise started coming out of my mouth. Like grief, sobbing - but there were no tears. He kept hitting. He didn’t stop hitting until the noise had stopped and my breathing got back to normal.

After this, I just wanted to close my eyes and go to sleep. He realised I’d relaxed - he could feel it - and asked when I last felt this relaxed. It’s funny, I thought I relaxed easily but I don’t remember the last time I felt like this.

He also worked on the back of my head whilst I looked very left or right, and then down to the left/right.

He hadn’t mentioned any issues with my shoulders, so I told him how they’d come loose in the sockets when putting a cardigan on, or changing gear (had to get an automatic car because of this!). Yeah, that’s your hips he said.
No, I’ve had this issue for 20 years.
P asked me when my hip issue started.
When I was 40.
20 years ago! WTF?!

The session lasted 1.45hours. Next session there will be less pain, and lots of massaging with oil, and he said I’m likely to want to talk about things when he works on certain parts of me. I’d better take a box of tissues!

He was pleased I’d seen him before my knee replacement - my body is now in a good way for the operation. As long as I do the exercises, recovery will be good. He wants me back at the class the very next week after the op. Thankfully Christmas is going to be in the way! Thinking back to my last knee replacement, I’m sure I cried for 2 weeks due to the unbelievable pain I was in! As long as the op happens on 16 December, I’ll have 3 weeks before the class.

As I was leaving, he noticed I had my walking stick in the left hand. He had told me weeks ago I needed it in the right because the pain I have is on the left. I had tried this, but I got real pain in my back and right hip. Of course you did, he said - you were twisted. As I walked out, I put the stick in my right hand. Weirdly, I felt I didn’t need the stick at all. What? I’ve needed a stick for 18 years! The first time I met P he had commented on the way I walk. Think he said something about it being learnt behaviour.

Results?

My friend commented the very next day how she hadn’t seen me walking so upright in many years.
I was feeling angry - have I caused myself so much extra pain because I stayed so long in an unhappy marriage / not dealt with the loss of my mum 25 years ago.
I felt extremely bruised below my neck at the front, and across my back although there was only a bit of bruising - eventually (I thought I’d be black and blue all over)
Well I slept very well after the first night for several nights. Like really well - not waking up at all which is absolutely unheard of.
My right knee that has really hurt when weight is on it since it was operated on 3 years ago is feeling better. It hasn’t hurt in 2 subsequent classes.
I seemed more able to do a couple of the leg exercises in the class on Thursday.
If I walk slowly, I don’t limp so much, but I am using my stick still (back in the left because it feels comfortable), but having said that, I’m now self isolating ahead of the op, so not going out much, and after the op I’ll be on crutches. Perhaps after that, I’ll be able to manage without a stick.

I later looked online about emotion being trapped in the body, and came across Louise Hay who believes stored emotions in the body cause physical pain. She also believes ‘you can heal your life through self love’.

Self love - yes, I’ve never been good at that.

Interestingly, reading more about what she believes, I’ve ended up with more questions. She believes that different things have different meanings, such as:

Aches - longing for love / to be held
Arthritic fingers - feeling unloved
Lower back pain - fear of money or lack of financial support
High blood pressure - longstanding emotional problem that is not solved
Cellulite - stored anger and self punishment
Endometriosis - insecurity, disappointment and frustration

I don’t get it - so is that why I have these?

I have a list of questions for P next month!