So, I tried online dating...

Two Saturdays ago, I had a coffee with a friend, followed by a Prosecco, and egged on by her, I agreed to try online dating.

I first tried Hinge. I didn’t like this site - you can’t write a profile as such. You have to answer silly questions - a minimum of 3. Anyway I picked the least worst ones, and made my profile live. I started looking at the men on there.

Do they not look at the photos to decide whether they’re good enough to put on a dating site?!?!

I spent 10 minutes or so thinking to myself ‘no’, ‘too young’, ‘too short’, ‘awful photo’, ‘jeez, no way’, etc etc etc when suddenly a lovely photo appeared of a very nice looking man. One problem: it was my ex husband!! Gave up on Hinge and removed my profile.

Then I tried Facebook Dating - which I didn’t even know was a thing.

I picked what I thought were half decent photos of me, and wrote my profile:

“Friendly and nice. Looking for a man of at least 6 feet please. I enjoy going out to the cinema, theatre, pubs, restaurants, quiz nights, art exhibitions, walks but not hikes. Love travelling. Hate smoking and karaoke. I’m honest too: I’m very tall with too much weight on me and I walk with a stick. Am not looking for a hook up or to be a mum!”

I was only online from Saturday night to Wednesday, and I was quite chuffed to get 53 likes. That boosted my confidence, which has always been very low regarding what I look like.

But did they not read my profile?

79% of the men who liked me were UNDER 6 feet.
26% of the men who liked me were 5’7” OR BELOW!
The shortest was 5’2”.

I contacted one of these shorter guys - a very nice looking man. He was 5’4” and only 47 and I liked what he’d written about himself. I said ‘Hello, you look like a nice chap, but can I ask, did you actually read my profile?”

“I’ve read your profile and there was nothing on there that was off-putting. I’m sorry if I’m too short. You are beautiful.”

He actually sounded really nice, particularly when I went back to him saying ‘I hope you find someone soon’ because he actually came back with ‘but you could be that someone’. I then explained that since I feel humungous, I really need someone taller than me. He wished me well and told me to take care. How sweet.

Going back to the photographs that the majority of the men put up, oh my God!
Firstly guys, don’t take a selfie from below! Perhaps remove your high vis jacket if you wear one, and check out your background! Also, we don’t want to see the big fish you once caught. Don’t post photos taken over a range of time either - it’s not helpful to see what you looked like 30 years ago, compared to what you look like now! And I don’t want to see a photo of your jacuzzi, your horse, your dog, your favourite cars, or even a random lighthouse - particularly if you haven’t included any photos - or just 1 headshot - of you! And I also don’t want to see you with your arm around another woman!

You may have noticed from the stats above, that there were some men 6 ft or more.
4 men said they were 6ft - but they were the ones with the odd photos!
3 of the guys were 6’1” - two were miles away (one in Belfast!)
2 were 6’2” but their photos were just scary
1 was 6’3” - but he looked very active and rode a motorbike
Then there was the 6’4" guy. No idea what he looked like - the one photo he had uploaded was of a young woman holding up a sign saying ‘Paedos don’t reoffend if they’re dead’!

What about age? Well of those who liked me:
4 were in their 40s
17 were between 51 and 59
13 were 70 plus

Why would a much younger man want an overweight, 60 year old who walks with a stick?

A friend recently said to me - and coincidently I read this in a magazine article a couple of days later:
“a lot of men are looking for a nurse or a purse”
I do not want to be either, thank you very much!

Two weeks ago, before I met my friend for coffee, I was not looking for a man. And I’m still not. I’m happy as I am. Perhaps when my son moves out I may change my mind, but at the moment, I’m happy doing some stuff on my own, I’m getting to know people in the area to go for a drink or meal with, and I really like being able to do what I want when I want.
But if Colin Firth or Brad Pitt sees me walking down the high street, and thinks - I’d like that woman in my life - I probably won’t say no!