Life as a nearly single woman

So the beginning of 2024 was interesting. For the first two months of the year, I kept crying. On my own, with friends, even at work. I was in a right mess.

Why?

Well I was turning 59 in February, and that’s the age my mum died at. It didn’t make me think I was going to die too, but it made me realise just how fast life is going, and I started questioning whether I was where I wanted to be. After lots of thought, the answer was no.

So I filed for divorce!

I felt happier having made that decision and the tears immediately stopped, but they may be starting again as the day we leave our lovely house approaches.

We’ve agreed to move out before we (well, me) are sorted because our chain was threatening to break and we didn’t want to lose our buyers. So, D moves out next Tuesday. He’s found a lovely house to rent. I am worried about how he’ll manage (I’ve been looking after him for so long), and I feel sad that we won’t make our 30th wedding anniversary on 10 September. We have had some good times over the years, and have two fab children, but I know I’m making the right decision for me.

Moi

MEEEEE

It’s a bit of a novelty putting me first to be honest.

So, we’re surrounded by boxes and have a lot more to sort out this weekend. Perhaps if I could move into the house I’m buying when I move out of here, I’d feel excited, but I’ve no idea when that will be since the vendors have only just had their offer accepted. This means from the end of September, I shall be homeless!

I had a nice idea, for a second, of living by the sea (St Ives) for a couple of months, but it turns out that AirBnB owners aren’t allowed to hire out to someone who doesn’t have a permanent address. I could lie, I suppose, but I’m not like that. I did think about hiring the apartment we’ve stayed at in beautiful Caswell Bay, but that becomes really pricey, so isn't an option either. When I agreed to move out, I hadn't actually thought about storage costs and rent! Anyway, things are slowly coming together, starting with a house sit for 2 weeks which is exciting.

Then there’s the shopping, which to be honest, has already started. Obviously D and I need to split our belongings, so I’ve bought a nice new iron, kettle, ipad, ironing board. Ipad? Oh yes, a necessity! Something I’ve been thinking about buying for a long time, but now I’m going to be homeless, I won’t be able to cart all my art stuff around with me, so I can paint on that! Good thinking huh!?

I can’t buy all that I need yet obviously. I need to know the moving in date but then nothing will stop me! Furniture for the lounge, beds, wardrobes, garden room, dining table and chairs… Garden room? - oh yes, my manager’s fault. She reckons I need one for an art studio, and I thought what a jolly good idea!

So that’s where I am today, 29 August 2024, at 7.50pm. Rather anxious (have had a headache all week and an upset tummy) and feeling stressed. I’m very urgent and organised and like to know what’s happening weeks/months in advance, but I need to learn to relax and only worry about the stuff that I can do something about. Thanks OB1 (my very wise boss).